Monday, October 21, 2013

Hike Rank 101

            Now that we are finally starting to get out of the house and enjoy some actual hikes, I feel I need to re post this.   It has been in my other blog series a few times.   And is my own rating scale for hikes.   I have been very lacks on going on any kind of hike lately.  Partially because of how hot it has been outside, my recent surgery, and just plane laziness.   I have been on many a crazy but fun filled hike in my past.   And I realize three things here.  1.)   I do not like trails---people have already been were they lead, and they become easily boring for me.   With cross country travel soon taking over.   *Not as much so in Arizona, because of my huge fear of snakes. *  2.) I have read many hike books, and entries online--and two things are usually not clear.   How to get to the actual trail.  And how tough the trail actually is.    And 3.)  I am used to trails in Washington and Oregon.   Trails in Arizona are a whole new ball game. 

         This is my own way to rank hikes.  With my own flair, if you wish.  If the ideas or wording tick you off, even better!  My hike postings will go by this ranking system.   And will include practical information on that area.  Like how rough the roads getting into the hike, how hard it is to find the trails, etc.  

Following is my ranking scale for how difficult a hike is.
   I can not draw anything, even my cows are stick figures.   So the badge or picture for each you will have to imagine from my descriptions below.  

 Rank 1-4  = Extra Easy             Fresco Kid would rank it two thumbs down.    He will be forever known as a friend that hated anything close to a hike.  And is quoted as saying-- "Why go way up their, it will look the same as down here, just with being able to see the tops of trees!"      
Picture---  A large Sprawl Mart parking lot

   Rank 5-8 = Easy       Porkchop Approved! *Largish friend of ours that went on a lot of hikes, but was known to disappear, and than be found on the trail rolled up in the fetal position*    One thumb down    
 Picture--- Large fat man holding a hoagie, licking lips, twinkle in his eyes.

   Rank 9-12  = No Bigguns!!      Picture--- Bigger dude looking up the trail.  Wiping forehead just from thinking about the hike.

   Rank 13-15.5 =  4 X4 Zone     Mostly off trail and uphill    Picture--  Trail straight up with a huge X through it.

   Extra supplies needed.     Long trail    easy to get lost area            Picture---  Hungry Man box

   Rank 16-19 = Y?      Lost trail for hours   found again  than realizes been following a deer trail all day
  Picture---   ???

  Rank 20-22 = Like Wow      Billy Goat Gump approved.  This boy can run up a trail backwards while you are panting.      Picture--- A billy goat placing flag at top of a mountain.  On back legs, shinning gold teeth showing.

  Rank 23-25 = Xtra Crazy    Mark and I approved       Picture--- Stick figure falling off a major cliff--spread eagle.   A falling pack and gear falling just behind the hiker.

   Rank 26-27 = Wha!?    Special Warnings    Not approved by or for anyone

   Rank 28-30 = Forget it!  Should give up before you try.     Picture---Two hikers standing before a trail that goes straight up.

   Rank 31-33 = F  It!                No Comment    Picture--- Person in hospital bed-leg and arm in cast with only middle finger showing.  Bandaged head.

   Watch Feet----   Snakes/slugs/poo and or other obstacles on the trail.      Picture---A large boot print in the dirt  huge squisehed Banana Slug in the middle.

Our truck is 80 miles that way, yo!
Kingman AZ


Sneaker waves are bad!

<Bellingham WA
I have been on many a great hike.  And trails seem to become boring very soon after finding one.  Mostly because following a trail usually means some one else has been were the trail leads.  Because of this I have been on some crazy cross country hikes, that usually result in being lost for hours and seem to be mostly up hill.   If any of these hikes had been filmed-I probably would be very rich right now.  And 9 times out of 8, I manage to accomplish the entire trail with near perfect balance, until in the parking lot were the vehicle is parked.  That could be anything from a pickup to an ambulance.  Falling down in a flat parking lot is amusing but brings us to another topic all together.....    Unfortunately for many city dwellers the entire planet is not yet paved for your walking enjoyment.   This thought wave started years ago, in the outside plant area of an Oregon Wall-Mart.   Were thinking is optional for customers and workers alike ~Always!   A lady was looking at the trees for sale, and apparently fell down on a loose decorative pebble that strayed into the parking lot.  No one  saw the accident, but she wanted to seem very hurt because Wall Mart's pockets are thick.   She limped inside with our manager, to fill out paperwork.   And we, as bored workers, paid by the hour went to examine the accident area.   One of my co -workers tried to re-in act and overact the scene.  Resulting in him flopping around on the ground, holding his leg while I started to outline his twitching body in a chalk outline on the ground.  We looked up to see the manager with the downed shopper, coming our way to take the rock in as evidence and jumped off the ground. 
Bellingham, WA

Bellingham, WA

Sedona, AZ


Kingman, AZ


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